An Insight into Aloneness, Loneliness, Love - Part II
Continued............ from 'An Insight into Aloneness, Loneliness, Love'. This discourse is full of knowledge, if possible read the previous post also but the things written in this post is complete on its own to understand the main theme but must be read completely. In this post we'll know about how loneliness is en-fused in the every cell of our body and our subconscious mind... so let's continue the previous incomplete odyssey.
Continued............ from 'An Insight into Aloneness, Loneliness, Love'. This discourse is full of knowledge, if possible read the previous post also but the things written in this post is complete on its own to understand the main theme but must be read completely. In this post we'll know about how loneliness is en-fused in the every cell of our body and our subconscious mind... so let's continue the previous incomplete odyssey.
I have heard about a poet who was lost in a forest for three days hungry, and then came the full moon night. He then looked at the moon and he was surprised because all his life whenever he had seen the full moon he had always remembered beautiful faces of women, his beloved, things like that but that day after three days of starvation; tired, hungry, thirsty he looked at the moon and he saw a white bread, a Chapati (aka 'roti') floating in the sky above the clouds, he could not believe his eyes what kind of poetry is this. A great poet and the full moon looks like a Chapati. And you all know that if something is starved too much you will start substituting it by imagination. If you have lived in a forest alone for many days and you have not seen a woman even the ugliest in the world will look like Cleopatra.
Mulla Nasrudin goes to a hill station. He has a bungalow there. Sometimes he says I'm going there for three weeks but by second week he is back or even after seven days or ten days. I asked Mulla Nasruddin many times you say I'm going for 3 weeks and 4 weeks and you come within 2 weeks or even earlier, what is the matter? He said there is something in it. I've kept a woman there to look after the house, she is the ugliest woman, horrible she is, repulsive she is, just to look at her and one feels like vomiting. But I asked him what she has to do with it. He said there is a story in it. When I go to the hill station she looks horrible but slowly slowly after 4, 5 days she is not so horrible then after 8, 10 days I start seeing some beauty in her, THE day i start seeing beauty in her is the day I escape because that means enough is enough, I have lived too much away from the world, away from my woman now even this horrible woman has started looking beautiful; that simply means I've starved myself too much. So, that is the criteria, what soever I said 3 weeks, 4 weeks that is not the point, the real criteria is the day I see the woman is beautiful, and I start fantasizing about her then, I pack-up my things and escape. I know the woman is horrible and if I stay one or two day more then, there is going to be danger. I may fall in love with this horrible woman.
LONELINESS cannot create LOVE, it creates NEED. LOVE is not a NEED, then what LOVE is? LOVE is luxury, it comes out of aloneness. When you are tremendously alone and happy, and joyous, and celebrating and great energy goes on storing in you, you don't need anybody, that moment the energy is so much you would like it to be shared, then you give because you have so much. You give without asking anything in return, that is LOVE. So, very few people attain to love, and those are the people who attain first to aloneness and when you are alone meditation is natural symbol, spontaneous, just sitting silently doing nothing and you are in meditation. You need not repeat a mantra, you need not chant any stupid sound, you simply sit or you walk or you do your things and meditation is there like a climate surrounding you. Like white cloud surrounding you. You are suffused with the light, you are emerged in it and that freshness goes on welling up.
Now you start singing, what else can you do when a song is born in your heart you have to sing it and when love is born into your heart. Love is a by product of aloneness you have to shower(spread) it when the cloud is full of rain it showers and when the flower is full of fragrance it releases its fragrance to the winds. Un-addressed, the fragrance is released and the flower does not wait that what is coming in return back to me. The flower is happy that the winds have been kind enough to relieve me from a burned. This is real LOVE then there is no possessions and this is real meditation then there is no effort. Amrito(questioner) what has happened to you is something immensely valuable just your interpretation is wrong. You say after the tidal wave of events and that the memory of a profound experience I face new aloneness, please don't call it. Aloneness or if you call it aloneness then try to understand its nature. Efforts to share our escape into distractions have bad results they are bound Efforts to share our escape into distractions have bad results, don't share right now let it gather, let it become a cloud full of rain water then the sharing will happen on its own accord, right now if you start sharing it will again be just a way of finding the other in the name of sharing, it will be escape. Sharing has to be allowed to happen on its own. You just go on gathering this aloneness and one day you'll see the fragrance is released to the winds one day you'll see the sharing has started, you'll be a witness to it. You'll not be a doer but only a witness. Why do I cling to this habit of escaping aloneness?. Because you've not yet understood it, as aloneness, you go on interpreting it as loneliness and I can understand, this is how everybody does. For the first time when you feel aloneness you interpret it as loneliness because that is a known phenomenon. All your life you have felt it. to have that results because it is aloneness, really aloneness, you'll miss something if you escape from it, it is escaping from your own innermost treasure, it is escaping from your richness from your own kingdom. This stress will be the result don't escape, dig deep into it dive deep into it forget all escaping that's what Amrito you've been doing your whole life this time no. This time you've to go into it this time you have to taste it in its totality. You have to become it you have to see it root and all what it is. And once you've seen it and lived it you'll come out of it with totally new person, reborn. I've been watching you since the day you've come here. I've continuously been watching you I've been around you. I've been looking into your eyes and your face something profound has happened but much more is going to happen, if you escape you'll miss that much more that is on the way. No, this time no, many times you've been doing it, many lives you've been doing it, this time drop all fear, drop all memories, go into new face of aloneness. It is really aloneness, it is not loneliness you need not escape if you escape from loneliness you'll feel good if you escape from aloneness you'll feel bad. Efforts to share our escape into distractions have bad results, don't share right now let it gather, let it become a cloud full of rain water then the sharing will happen on its own accord, right now if you start sharing it will again be just a way of finding the other in the name of sharing, it will be escape. Sharing has to be allowed to happen on its own. You just go on gathering this aloneness and one day you'll see the fragrance is released to the winds one day you'll see the sharing has started, you'll be a witness to it. You'll not be a doer but only a witness. Why do I cling to this habit of escaping aloneness?. Because you've not yet understood it, as aloneness, you go on interpreting it as loneliness and I can understand, this is how everybody does. For the first time when you feel aloneness you interpret it as loneliness because that is a known phenomenon. All your life you have felt it.
Now you start singing, what else can you do when a song is born in your heart you have to sing it and when love is born into your heart. Love is a by product of aloneness you have to shower(spread) it when the cloud is full of rain it showers and when the flower is full of fragrance it releases its fragrance to the winds. Un-addressed, the fragrance is released and the flower does not wait that what is coming in return back to me. The flower is happy that the winds have been kind enough to relieve me from a burned. This is real LOVE then there is no possessions and this is real meditation then there is no effort. Amrito(questioner) what has happened to you is something immensely valuable just your interpretation is wrong. You say after the tidal wave of events and that the memory of a profound experience I face new aloneness, please don't call it. Aloneness or if you call it aloneness then try to understand its nature. Efforts to share our escape into distractions have bad results they are bound Efforts to share our escape into distractions have bad results, don't share right now let it gather, let it become a cloud full of rain water then the sharing will happen on its own accord, right now if you start sharing it will again be just a way of finding the other in the name of sharing, it will be escape. Sharing has to be allowed to happen on its own. You just go on gathering this aloneness and one day you'll see the fragrance is released to the winds one day you'll see the sharing has started, you'll be a witness to it. You'll not be a doer but only a witness. Why do I cling to this habit of escaping aloneness?. Because you've not yet understood it, as aloneness, you go on interpreting it as loneliness and I can understand, this is how everybody does. For the first time when you feel aloneness you interpret it as loneliness because that is a known phenomenon. All your life you have felt it. to have that results because it is aloneness, really aloneness, you'll miss something if you escape from it, it is escaping from your own innermost treasure, it is escaping from your richness from your own kingdom. This stress will be the result don't escape, dig deep into it dive deep into it forget all escaping that's what Amrito you've been doing your whole life this time no. This time you've to go into it this time you have to taste it in its totality. You have to become it you have to see it root and all what it is. And once you've seen it and lived it you'll come out of it with totally new person, reborn. I've been watching you since the day you've come here. I've continuously been watching you I've been around you. I've been looking into your eyes and your face something profound has happened but much more is going to happen, if you escape you'll miss that much more that is on the way. No, this time no, many times you've been doing it, many lives you've been doing it, this time drop all fear, drop all memories, go into new face of aloneness. It is really aloneness, it is not loneliness you need not escape if you escape from loneliness you'll feel good if you escape from aloneness you'll feel bad. Efforts to share our escape into distractions have bad results, don't share right now let it gather, let it become a cloud full of rain water then the sharing will happen on its own accord, right now if you start sharing it will again be just a way of finding the other in the name of sharing, it will be escape. Sharing has to be allowed to happen on its own. You just go on gathering this aloneness and one day you'll see the fragrance is released to the winds one day you'll see the sharing has started, you'll be a witness to it. You'll not be a doer but only a witness. Why do I cling to this habit of escaping aloneness?. Because you've not yet understood it, as aloneness, you go on interpreting it as loneliness and I can understand, this is how everybody does. For the first time when you feel aloneness you interpret it as loneliness because that is a known phenomenon. All your life you have felt it.
The moment the child leaves the mother's womb, the first experience is of loneliness, he starts feeling lonely, he had to leave his home. The greatest trauma that happens is when the child has to leave the womb, he wants to cling to the womb he does not want to go out of it, for 9 months he has lived, he has loved the space, the womb and he has been so beautifully taken care of, with no responsibility, with no worry. Why he should leave? He is being thrown out, expelled. He does not want to go out. Life we call it birth, but the child thinks it is going to be death. It is death to him because it is the end of the life that he has known for 9 months, he is shocked, he feels punished, and he cannot think yet so the feeling goes very deep in the body, it is a feeling of his total being not a thought. hence it permeates his every cell of the body and remains there that is the first experience of being lonely and then again and again many more experiences will come, one day the mother takes the breast away and the child is again lonely. Some day the child is removed from the mother and nurse starts taking care, again lonely. One day he is not allowed to live in the mother's room, he is given a separate room, again lonely. Remember the day of your childhood when you have to sleep for the first time alone in a room, the darkness, the coldness, nobody there surrounding you and it has never been so before always the mother's womb, her soft body was available. Now the child clings to a toy, a Teddy Bear but is it a substitute? or clings to a blanket, but is it a substitute? Poor substitute, but somehow he manages, feels very lonely, dark, left, thrown away, rejected, these are the wounds that go on gathering and go on making the idea of loneliness deeper and deeper. Then one day he has to leave the home and go to the hostel with strange people, unknown, just remember those all wounds, they are there and it goes on and on. Your whole life is a long process of feeling lonely and then by chance some profound experience happens and because of that profound experience you have a glimpse of your being but your whole mind knows only loneliness, so it transforms the experience of aloneness into loneliness, it labels it as loneliness. The experience of solitude is defined as solitariness that's where Amrito you are missing. You forget the interpretation this is really something new, that is happening, new, so you cannot figure out, what it is. The only way to know is to go into it, to be acquainted with it. Just as master Lutasoo(spelling incorrect) said, it is like drinking water only you know, whether it is cold or warm. Now drink this aloneness this fresh energy that is welling up in you. Drink it, taste it and you'll be surprised, it is nothing like that you've known before. It is freedom, freedom from the other, it is what in the east called 'Mokchya', utter freedom. And after this freedom, love will become possible. After this freedom sharing will happen, after this freedom your life will have a totally different significance, a totally different splendor to it, your hidden splendor will be released.
[written while listening to the audio Discourse by Osho, The secret of secrets, volume II, Talks on the secrets of golden flower, discourse no. 6] [Time:39:02 out of 1:45:16]
First question completes......................................
ODYSSEY OF ENIGMA
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Beyond the invisible (infinity)
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